Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
i dont know what to do...im soo confussed and hurt. im running out of choices, scared of the ones im making, i know what i want but it seems to be impossible to grab anymore..im fighting for what i want and i will not stop until i get it. ill give up everything i am for it i want it that bad. all in all, you gotta give a little to get a little.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentines Day ♥
i wouldnt say im a big fan of valentines day. i dont think there should be one special day to 'celebrate' your love for someone..it should be an everyday thing if you love them. but this year..unlike any other i LOVE that i have my favorite person in the world, the love of my life, my other half to spend it with ♥ it makes this day so much more worth it. I Love You Andrew.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Results
ok so. yesterday at the doctors...i got my blood test and cat scan done && everything is normal supposidly. i had an iv in my arm for an hr and a half..i dont know whats goin on with me, i dont even think the doctors know whats wrong with me
and today with the new meds they gave me..my stomach still hurts, i woke up 4 this morning & felt like i was gunna puke but didnt, and my hands have been shakin since i woke up...*sigh* =/
and today with the new meds they gave me..my stomach still hurts, i woke up 4 this morning & felt like i was gunna puke but didnt, and my hands have been shakin since i woke up...*sigh* =/
Thursday, February 9, 2012
soo. ive had like this weird migrane for 4 weeks now && the docs gave me 2 types of meds for it...&& they are not working. my stomaches been hurting and doc said it could be my spleen, but nothings wrong there, my headaches/migranes been constant and i never get a break from em..when my stomache hurts my hands shake uncontrolably. and last night was one of the worst migranes yet..i couldnt even move without my head throbbing, every heart beat my head would pound. i woke up 3 times last night because the pain was unbearable && it took awhile to get back to sleep. ive had xrays and test done, but they dont know what to do or what it is. sooo today im going to get a ct scan and a blood test to see what the hells wrong with me cuz i really want this shit to stop...
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
Cousin Love ♥
Katlyn Smith. I love you girl. You can find a smile on my face on my downest days. Your not only my cousin, but your my best friend. After all the shit we've been through together i dont know where i would be without you. ♥
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Andrew.
baby i love you. life makes sence with you. you make me feel great and beyond happy. the idea of a life without you is not only unbearable, its unimaginable. i could never ask want or need anybody ever but you. you make my world go round. i look forward to everyday with you ♥ you my love. and it just keeps growing. through thick and thin we should be. you are my heart and soul. my other half. you are the one i wanna see day and night. my obsession. my every want. my go in life. i give you my heart in hopes you keep it.you mean the world to me and so much more.to be without you is like drowning in a world of loneliness. i am so deeply in love with you and nothing could ever change that. i love you forever and always. ♥
you get so mad sometimes about my past. like you hate me all the time for what i did, sorry babe but i cant change it. its the past for a reason. i dont ever wanna look back on it, i made some bad god awful mistakes but so does everybody else so why only get pissed at me for what I did. your no more innocent than i am. but ill admit;i made one of the biggest mistakes of my life by lieing to you, i know. im sorry. im so sorry, i wish with everything that i am that i could take it back, i hate myself for doing it, for not thinking before i opened my mouth. and i also know you will never forgive me for it and i understand, in a way maybe i deserve it. i feel guilty as fuck for it. everyday i wake up and i hate me a little more for it and you remind me everyday about how stupid i am for doing that, that i fucked up something good. i understand that it bothers you. i just cant tell you how sorry i am. but you gotta stop. your breakin me down. and maybe thats your goal...but i feel more useless everytime you do. your trying to control me it seems, telling me who i can and cant talk to. what im gunna do. when i turn 18 yes im gunna get my tongue peirced. and dont tell me i cant, and dont be an asshole about it either. its me. im tired of people telling me what i can and cant do. im done being pushed aside for you.oh! and my red notebook it has nothing in there about me bitching. everytime your mad its like you have to find an excuse about my past or something i did that "your mad about" because im so awful arent i?. you say i act like your ex gf and you hate my family because theyre a bunch of druggies and you dont wanna be with someone whos associated with that. oh ok i get it now...your gunna make an excuse about the family to leave again? is that how it goes? im not my family. im not kayla. im me. open your eyes and look.
baby i love you. life makes sence with you. you make me feel great and beyond happy. the idea of a life without you is not only unbearable, its unimaginable. i could never ask want or need anybody ever but you. you make my world go round. i look forward to everyday with you ♥ you my love. and it just keeps growing. through thick and thin we should be. you are my heart and soul. my other half. you are the one i wanna see day and night. my obsession. my every want. my go in life. i give you my heart in hopes you keep it.you mean the world to me and so much more.to be without you is like drowning in a world of loneliness. i am so deeply in love with you and nothing could ever change that. i love you forever and always. ♥
you get so mad sometimes about my past. like you hate me all the time for what i did, sorry babe but i cant change it. its the past for a reason. i dont ever wanna look back on it, i made some bad god awful mistakes but so does everybody else so why only get pissed at me for what I did. your no more innocent than i am. but ill admit;i made one of the biggest mistakes of my life by lieing to you, i know. im sorry. im so sorry, i wish with everything that i am that i could take it back, i hate myself for doing it, for not thinking before i opened my mouth. and i also know you will never forgive me for it and i understand, in a way maybe i deserve it. i feel guilty as fuck for it. everyday i wake up and i hate me a little more for it and you remind me everyday about how stupid i am for doing that, that i fucked up something good. i understand that it bothers you. i just cant tell you how sorry i am. but you gotta stop. your breakin me down. and maybe thats your goal...but i feel more useless everytime you do. your trying to control me it seems, telling me who i can and cant talk to. what im gunna do. when i turn 18 yes im gunna get my tongue peirced. and dont tell me i cant, and dont be an asshole about it either. its me. im tired of people telling me what i can and cant do. im done being pushed aside for you.oh! and my red notebook it has nothing in there about me bitching. everytime your mad its like you have to find an excuse about my past or something i did that "your mad about" because im so awful arent i?. you say i act like your ex gf and you hate my family because theyre a bunch of druggies and you dont wanna be with someone whos associated with that. oh ok i get it now...your gunna make an excuse about the family to leave again? is that how it goes? im not my family. im not kayla. im me. open your eyes and look.
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